Today's the day. I feel like a kid waiting on the bus on his way to school for the first time. I feel like the kid that broke the family vase and waiting for dad to come back home. I feel like the kid that had an open shot at the goal, but missed completely. As the sun hits the horizon, a beautiful ray of ruby bids the day goodnight and serenades the night to come out of its hibernation. She's walking next to me, cradling my hand and playing with my fingers as if she's playing the saxophone. Her face radiates as the sun sets across the crisp, golden sky. Her eyes, hazelnut brown, constantly gazes into mine, taking my breath away and forcing my stomach to tighten every time. I can't stare at her eyes for too long, cause if I do, I might never want to see anything else again. Her skin, as white as pearl, full of life, feels like silk next to mine. Her dirty blonde hair acquiesces to the fall breeze dancing through the air and softly grazing my shoulder and partially covering her face, which forces her to curls them back behind her ears every few moments. We arrive at the place, the place that I declared a while back that I would protect her, never leave her, never put anything but a smile on her celestial face. It's one of the few places in this country where there's an open field that people can lie on and watch as the start come out to play tag. It's one of the few places that is void of cars, traffic, pollution, noise, and incessant rows of buildings. It's one of the few places forgotten by time and people, but if you try to look for it, it's worth all your pain and trouble spent searching. Replaying in my head what I need to say to her in a few moments, I'm wishing that I never told her any of that. She turns to me and reaches for my other arm. She wraps my arms around her waist, and places hers around my neck. We start to sway a little to the left, a little to the right, her smile broadening more every time. I can't do this anymore, I have to tell her now, or else I'll never gather up enough strength to tell her ever again. I stop in my track and her face fills with curiosity. She massages my neck, trying to look into my eyes, asking if everything's ok. A trickle of water falls from my eyes and nothing within me has the courage to hold it back. The trickle reaches my chin and a single drop falls on her palms. A nervous frown shrouds her face. I try to speak, but no words come out. My lungs feel like they're about to collapse; I kind of wish they did, then I wouldn't have to tell her. I gulp for air and move my mouth, but still nothing comes out. I finally turn away from her, and take out a crumpled letter. She reaches for the letter and unfolds the disheveled mess. It doesn't take long before her hands shake enough to leave a crevice down the middle of the paper. Her eyes fill with more tears than I've ever seen, and I hated myself for being the cause. She crumples the letter and throws it at my face. Just a paper, but somehow it felt as if she'd thrown a baseball pierced full of knives. She kneels to the ground, still holding unto my hands, screaming no, no, no. Her diamond rings seems a little less bright now. I kneel down too and bring her in close until our foreheads touch. I tell her it's going to be ok, that's everything will be just fine. I hold her tight, knowing that from this day on, I may lose her, I may never see that beautiful smile of hers, I may never walk to this place with her by my side again. So I refuse to let go. I don't want to let her go. I want to be next to her, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. Every fiber of my being screams to stay, to stay for her. If you were to look closely you could probably make out a few words from between the creased paper. "Due to these distressing times..." "of warfare"... "mandatory"...
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